Review: Land of the Dead

The short review: Laughably bad.

The long review:
Long-time zombie director George Romero serves us up another plate of brain-eating pie in the gorefest that is “Land of the Dead.” This movie attempts to keep the audience entertained with zombie violence weaved into a plot thinner than Nicole Ritchie (zing!). Basically, (and this is very basic) it’s the near future where zombies roam the cities of America. There are two (well, three) types of living people in the world: The rich people, who live in protected skyscrapers and shop all day, ruled over by a cigar-smoking Dennis Hopper, the poor people in the slums around the city, and the “mad max” rebels who hang out in the wilderness and kill zombies. If you can’t figure out by now who gets their come-uppance at the end of the film, then I guess this movie will be chock full of surprises for you.

Oh, and did I mention the zombies can think now? One of the curve-balls Romero throws is in “Land of the Dead” is to have one of the zombies be a sentient being. This means he cares, he cries, he moans when one of his zombie buddies gets his head blown off. No, I am not joking with you. This zombie decides to lead the zombies in rebellion.

There are so many ridiculous implausabilities in this film (allowing for zombies of course) that it makes it nearly unwatchable. For example, who supplies all the shopping for the people in the city? If the entire world is in ruins how can there possibly be any economy? This is pushed even further when Dennis Hopper tries to leave the city with some giant bags of money. What the f— is he going to do with bags of money in a post-apocalyptic world where there is no global economy? And how does his car have gas? Are there petroleum plants still being operated in the world?

Aside from all this, the gore in the film is great. People get their heads smashed in, crushed, intestines ripped out, and everything else you could possibly want. If that’s all you need and you don’t mind the ridiculous plot, then “Land of the Dead” is for you.

+1 for a girl getting her belly button ring ripped out by the mouth of a zombie.

2 / 10